


Safe

by creaniall



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Steve happily provides one, Subdrop, Tony Needs a Hug, open end, oversized hoodies, slightly nsfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:02:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creaniall/pseuds/creaniall
Summary: (Takes place between Avengers 1 and IM3)After the traumatic events of Avengers 1 Tony tries to drown his anxiety in alcohol, sex and pain - usually all three at the same time. When he shows up at Steve´s place covered in sweat and cum, Steve decides that Tony not only needs a shower but also a proper hug.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 5
Kudos: 107





	Safe

Happy entered the club at exactly 2:30 AM. Most people had already gone home, either drunk and alone or with some poor soul to keep them company for the night. Only the lost, desperate or hardcore ones were still left. Men dressed in leather or tight latex shot Happy some looks as he tried to locate the playrooms of the club. 

Like it had said on the ads in front of the club it was a men only night. It sure wasn´t the first time Mr Stark had forced Happy into such a position but even after all those years it never got easier.   
At 2:33 AM Happy entered the playroom, only to find his boss, Anthony Edward Stark himself, hanging from the ceiling, a rope around his wrists holding him up. About a dozen more or less ruffled and exhausted looking men in leather had gathered around him. 

Tony Stark himself was covered in cum, blood and other ominous bodily fluids that Happy did not want to inspect further. His boss seemed to be unconscious, his eyes closed, his breath unevenly.   
“Okay, okay, that´s it for tonight,” Happy said to the men. His tone of voice didn´t leave any room for questions. Neutral. Professional. Not at all like he was picking up his boss at a gay fetish club. 

“Would someone please let him down, that would be nice.”

Two of the men helped Happy taking Tony down. His legs immediately collapsed under him. Happy untied the rope around his wrists, helping Tony into an upright position. 

“Happy,” Tony slurred, barely able to keep his eyes open. “Ssso late already?”

“Yes, we need to leave now,” Happy managed to say with clenched teeth. 

He found Tony´s clothes in a pile on the ground but getting the billionaire dressed was tedious. It took minutes to get Tony to put on a jeans and a shirt with no underwear. Happy decided that this was good enough, he just wanted to leave and escape the eyes of the horny men gathered around.

He stabilized the billionaire as he was trying to walk. They ever so slowly made their way to the exit. It were moments like this when Happy seriously considered to quit his job. Tony was getting cum all over his suit and he could already feel the judging eyes of the lady at the dry cleaning establishment. 

He managed to get Tony into the backseat, even closing the seat belt for him. Then they quietly made their way through the night back to the tower. 

“Sorry for that,” his boss slurred from the backseat. “You know what? Take tomorrow off. I´ll get by for a day without you. Maybe take my private jet and fly to Hawaii for a weekend, how about that?”

After all those years of working for Tony Stark Happy knew too well how his boss was trying to cope with his bad conscience. 

“Sure, I will,” he replied noncommittally just to end this conversation. 

By the time they arrived at the tower Tony was a little more clearheaded. He walked on his own to the elevator, absentmindedly running the thumb over the collar he was still wearing. 

“I mean it,” Tony tried again. “Take the day off. I promise not to get into any situation that would require your help for a day.”

And just like that the doors of the elevator closed behind him, leaving Happy alone in the quiet parking lot. 

The rush of the high Tony had felt during the session was long gone by the time he made it to the bathroom. Showering sounded exhausting right now so he just wiped down with a wet towel before collapsing on the sofa in the living room with a drink. 

“Any news, JARVIS?” he asked his AI. A bone crushing exhaustion had come over his body but his mind was still running laps. He didn´t want to sleep and at the same time didn´t want to stay awake. But when he was asleep he couldn´t control his thoughts, couldn´t keep the memories away so he´d rather stay awake and in control for as long as possible. It had been barely 30 hours since he last slept, he could easily last another day or so. 

“Nothing unusual, Sir,” his loyal AI responded in this calm voice that was such a harsh contrast to Tony´s own erratic thoughts. “Captain Rogers seemed to have suffered from a nightmare again.”

The tablet on the living room table in front of Tony lit up, showing an overview of Captain America`s heart rate throughout the night. 

Tony had told no one, not even SHIELD, about the microchips he had implanted his fellow Avengers. He managed to do that unnoticed except for Natasha. Tony didn´t know why exactly the thought of being able to check on them whenever he wanted calmed his mind so much. He didn´t dare to question it either, partially because he feared he would expose himself as a crazy stalker. 

“His heart rate is up right now,” Tony noticed. “What´s he doing?”

“Running, probably,” his AI offered as an answer. “It is half past six in New York City.”

With a sudden spark of inspiration, Tony emptied his glass. 

“How long would it take me to get there if we go really fast?”

“About an hour to an hour and half,” JARVIS answered immediately. “However, may I suggest taking the private jet and sleeping on the way instead?”

“You may not.” Tony was already on his way to the workshop. He only recently had developed a new suit that was designed specifically to travel large distances in very short amounts of time. The challenge of arriving in NYC before Steve had finished his morning run itched beneath his skin. 

Less than 90 seconds later he was in the air, Malibu quickly disappearing behind him. 

“We could pick up bagels on the way,” Tony suggested rather to himself than to JARVIS. He could hear the AI sigh. 

57 minutes later Tony landed in front of the apartment building Captain America was currently living in, a bag of freshly baked bagels in his right hand. He quickly made his way up the stairs. The floor only had to apartments, one without a name tag next to the door. Tony figured this must be it and knocked. 

The door was being opened just a little, still held by a small chain. Droplets of water were running down Steve´s forehead, his hair still wet from the shower. 

“Seriously, Rogers?” Tony smirked and nodded to the tiny chain. “You just open the door to anyone who knocks? I could have been a crazy axemurderer. Or one of Jehova´s witnesses.”

Steve rolled his eyes and opened the door all the way. 

“Tony,” he said as Tony entered the apartment. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Well, this had sounded very differently in Tony´s imagination. He suddenly felt dumb, standing in Steve´s small hallway, looking absolutely debauched, wearing no underwear. If it hadn´t made the situation even worse, Tony might have giggled maniacally. He was an idiot. A complete idiot beyond any hope of saving. 

“Brought you bagels,” he said as enthusiastically as he could manage without his voice breaking. He noticed his hands were shaking. 

This was pointless. He didn´t even know Steve, if he was being honest. They only ever met once and yes, they had fought a bunch of aliens side by side, but aside from that they weren´t really friends. Hell, Tony was only here because he stalked Steve and assumed he had been woken up by a nightmare. It was completely possible that Steve hated him. He should have never come here in the first place. 

“Oh,” Steve said, confusion showing clearly on his face. Steve had the opposite of a pokerface and if he hadn´t been Captain America Tony would have probably found that endearing. Who was he kidding? He absolutely found it endearing even though Steve was twice as heavy as himself and could punch through a tank. 

Just when Tony decided to retreat and drink himself to sleep to forget this embarrassing visit, Steve grabbed the bag with the bagels and made his way to the kitchen. 

“Thanks,” he said in a carefree tone of voice. Tony didn´t need to be the genius he was to notice Steve faked it. “You want anything with it? Coffee? Eggs? Cheese?”

“Eggs would be nice.” Tony carefully followed the Captain to the kitchen. Even though the apartment wasn´t that big it looked empty. Steve, who was a big man by all means, looked small in it, almost as if he was a stranger in his own house. 

“What brings you here?” Steve asked casually. “Thought you were in Malibu. You look like you haven´t slept in days, has anything come up?”

Their eyes met for a long moment. Tony felt the heat spread on his face. He hadn´t showered, hadn´t slept, he was probably looking as terrible as he smelt. 

“Yeah, no, I was just...” Tony nervously ran a hand through his hair until he felt something. His blood ran cold and for a horrible second he thought he might pass out on the spot. Fuck! He was still wearing the collar! 

Tony would have preferred passing out over Steve´s eyes flickering to the collar and then back up to his face. He gagged for a second, trying to collect himself before he embarrassed himself even more. Panic was rising in his chest, he couldn´t breath, couldn´t think, just helplessly stare into Steve´s very blue, very concerned eyes. 

“It´s nothing,” Tony heard himself say. “Can I use the bathroom real quick?”

“Sure.” Steve pointed down the hallway. “You wanna take a shower? You look like you need one.”

Tony swallowed hard and forced himself to smile. 

“You could at least buy me dinner first,” he replied in a flirtatious tone before he practically ran out of the room. 

For a second he actually considered just leaving and hurling himself back into the Iron Man suit he had left in front of the building. But he went to the bathroom instead, spraying his face with cold water. Yep, he was still wearing the collar. There was no way in hell Steve could have overlooked it. This was worse than all the walks of shame in his life combined. 

The door behind him was being opened and Tony jumped. 

“Towel.” Steve glanced at him for a second before handing him a big, neatly folded blue towel. 

Tony didn´t trust his voice enough to answer. Instead, his body went into autopilot. He undressed, turned the shower to the hottest setting and stepped under it. The hot water made him feel better for about five seconds. 

It couldn´t be that bad, he told himself. At least, Steve hadn´t kicked him out, yet. 

He took a few minutes to compose himself. His clothes felt used and dirty when he put them on again but he didn´t have anything else with him. Feeling a tiny bit better he left the bathroom. His mind was working itself in a state of frenzy but luckily, Steve behaved normal. 

They ate at the kitchen table; bagels, eggs with bacon, milk and freshly cut fruit while a random pop song was playing on the radio. Tony couldn´t help but awe at the amount of food Steve was eating. Of the five bagels Tony brought Steve ate four, together with about a dozen eggs and ten stripes of bacon. He washed it down with two cups of coffee and half a gallon of milk. 

Steve looked up and Tony noticed that his own bagel was still laying half eaten on his plate. He just couldn´t look away. 

“I have never in my entire life seen anyone eat so much food in so little time,” he mumbled. 

An almost shy smile appeared on Steve´s face. He looked away. 

“The serum enhanced my metabolism. If I go for a run in the morning I have to eat half a pig afterwards.”

Tony smiled at him before taking another bite of his own bagel. This was feeling pretty normal so far. 

“You wanna tell me now what brought you here?” Steve asked. “Or at least the last time you slept?”

Wham, there it was. Tony swallowed hard. 

“I just pulled an all-nighter. Nothing to worry about.”

“Tony.” Steve now looked directly at him, no way to escape his eyes. “You show up wearing a collar, being high on whatever drugs are popular these days, smelling like you just stumbled out of a really cheap brothel. I think I deserve an explanation.”

Tony´s heart sank into his stomach. The wave of panic was rising again in his chest. He really needed to leave now. He pushed back the chair so forcefully it fell down. He opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. Before he could even take a single step towards the exit his legs gave up. He collapsed on Captain America´s kitchen floor. 

From somewhere far, far away he heard someone shout his name. He was lifted, his head lolling back. The world around him was blurred and somehow muted. The feeling wasn´t pleasant but it was better than being fully conscious. He thought for a second that someone was holding his hand, but it was only Steve checking his pulse. 

Tony felt as if he had been crushed by a car. He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths until the panic slowly subsided. Only the exhaustion stayed with him. He couldn´t bring up the courage to open his eyes so he just kept them shut until his breath evened out he was finally – finally! - falling asleep. 

When Tony woke up again his first thought was what could have possibly happened to his bedroom that it became this tiny. Then he realized it wasn´t his own bedroom. Memories washed over him like a flood. 

Oh crap! He passed out in Steve´s apartment. Logic dictated that this must have been Steve´s bedroom. If there hadn´t been a burnt looking Captain America uniform hanging next to the wardrobe it could have been a random hotel room anywhere in the US. Tony looked around a little longer. There were no personal belongings other than the uniform, a pair of worn out Converse and a phone charger to be found. 

Tony thought to himself that he urgently needed to design a new, better uniform for Steve when he heard a noise from the other side of the door. A quick glance to the window told him it had to be late afternoon. Could he really have slept that long? 

When he swung his legs out of the bed he noticed a pile of clothing next to the bed. A T-Shirt, work out pants, a hoodie and a towel. It wouldn´t fit him but Tony decided it was better than wearing his old, sweat and cum stained clothes. 

Almost drowning in the oversized hoodie he left the bedroom. It was quiet in Steve´s apartment. Tony found the super soldier sitting in the living room, the tablet on his lap. The billionaire wanted to make a snarky remark about old people and technology but as soon as he entered Steve locked the tablet and practically threw it away as if he had been caught watching porn. 

“Hey,” he said, watching Tony´s every move. “Are you feeling better?”

“Sure,” Tony replied noncommittally, sinking into the sofa next to Steve. 

“JARVIS told me you had a panic attack.” He was still watching Tony out of those perfect, blue eyes. 

“Even my AIs can be wrong.” Tony hid his face in the hoodie. 

They both stayed quiet for a long time. The longer the silence between them lasted the more uncomfortable Tony became. Maybe he should excuse himself and leave. He could send Steve a gift later for all the trouble Tony had caused. 

“When you showed up with that collar,” Steve said, avoiding Tony´s eyes, “I looked into that a little.”

“Looked into what?” Tony didn´t mean to sound as panicked as he did. 

“You know.... people who wear collars.” Okay, Steve was totally blushing right now but at least he managed to keep a straight face. “It doesn´t seem to be a... a queer thing nowadays. Straight people do it, too.”

“I can not tell you how much I don´t want to have this conversation with you right now,” Tony replied but Steve didn´t let him of the hook that easily. 

“I have stumbled upon the definition of a sub drop, a form of panic attack,” the soldier continued calmly. “Of course, I don´t know what you have been up to but... if you need anything...” He shrugged. “Just let me know and I promise I won´t tell a soul about it.”

“Thanks, but I´m fine.” Tony felt the anxiety rising in his chest again. He really needed to leave now. He abruptly stood up, his vision went white for just a second but he managed to stay upright. “I´m gonna go now. I really have had my fill of hospitality.”

Steve was on his feet within a second, grabbing Tony´s right hand and holding it tightly between his. 

“Stay for dinner?” he asked. “Maybe we can have a glass of wine afterwards and watch a movie? There are still plenty on my list.”

Tony felt as if he had been sucker-punched but in a good way if that was even possible. He really did want to stay. He rather preferred Steve´s company to the loneliness of his house in Malibu but a little voice inside his head told him repeatedly to just leave now and forget this episode of weakness. 

“Sure,” Tony heard himself say, a borderline out of body experience. 

Steve smiled brightly at him, a happy, honest smile. Tony felt the soldier gently pulling him closer. Tony didn´t object. He let himself be pulled in a hug with no input of his own – or so he told himself when Steve wrapped his arms around Tony. 

The billionaire sighed quietly, letting his head rest against Steve´s shoulder. Steve radiated heat, his big arms closed tightly around Tony´s back. He should have felt trapped and helpless and the mercy of an artificially enhanced super soldier. But instead he felt just safe.

“Thanks,” he whispered because those words were meant only for Steve and no one else. “I owe you.”

“You don´t.” Steve squeezed him lightly, still smiling. “I´m glad you´re here, Tony.”

“Hmm.” Tony let himself be held. His head was feeling calmer already. Maybe things would turn out to be okay after all.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language so let me know if I made any mistakes so that I can improve in the future!


End file.
